Stories about: Ask the Mediatrician

Media Moment: Media as a Way to Connect With Your Children

groff familyDear Reader,
Welcome to another Media Moment! This month, Laura Groff, an MA in Biblical Languages, college swim coach and mother of four, shares how she was able to use a TV show to help connect with her oldest son during the hospitalization of her youngest child who was born prematurely. These stories are meant to help create a village square of commiserating and co-celebrating the many ways media intersect with the lives of children. Please comment and even submit your own ‘Moment’ to share with your fellow readers.
Enjoy your media and use them wisely,
~The Mediatrician®

Media as a Way to Connect With Your Children

Going from kid number 3 to kid number 4 did not seem like a big deal in my head. What’s one more right? I had done this three other times.  I knew what to expect, what to anticipate and how to help the older three cope. What I did not anticipate was going into labor at 29 weeks, an ambulance ride to Boston in the middle of night and the disconnect with my older kids that fear and anxiety bring.

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My 14-year-old daughter is addicted to social media, what should I do?

Michael RichQ: My 14-year-old daughter is seemingly addicted to her smartphone, particularly social media (Instagram and Snap Chat) and texting with her friends. I’ve never seen it this bad before. During the school year, she had no problem leaving her phone in her backpack while at home, and she’s always been a good student, with plenty of friends I approve of. As soon as this summer hit, though, she’s been driving our family crazy with her constant texting, picture taking and giggling over whatever is on her phone. It came to a head last week on our family camping trip when she had a meltdown over the lack of cell service. We eventually got her to go, but she fumed and pouted the entire time, and since back, seems more attached to her phone than ever. I’m worried that she’s missing out on quality family time, but every time we force her to be with us phone-free, she seems miserable. What can I do?

~ Dysfunction at Disconnection, NH

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Ask the Mediatrician: Could my son be too dependent on YouNow and Skype after moving?

Michael RichQ: Our family moved recently from the U.S. to Mexico for my husband’s job, and while most things have been transitioning smoothly, I am concerned that my 14-year-old son is spending too much time with screens and not enough time making friends. Since moving, he spends a lot of time Skyping or playing video games with his friends back in the United States. Last week, I even found out that he is using YouNow to stay connected with friends all the time…even when he is sleeping! I know this move has been tough, and I want to support his transition, but I’m concerned that if he continues to spend all of his time online with his old friends, his social life here will be non-existent. Any help you can offer me will be appreciated—thanks!

~ Figuring out friends, Mexico

A: Dear Figuring,

It is normal for your son to be struggling with the move and for him to want to stay connected to his friends back in the U.S. Moving to a new community can be an especially difficult transition for teenagers, who are figuring out who they are as individuals (separate from their parents) and rely heavily on peer relationships in that process. Today’s technology can help your son stay connected with those important people who are far away, and used mindfully, it can be helpful in his transition.

That said, if your son actually stays connected nearly 24/7 using YouNow, Skype and video games with his old friends, he may end up spending much of his time trying to copy his former life instead of living his current one. As wonderful as these technologies can be for relaying images and sounds of people and places we love, they are still only images and sounds—they can never be as interesting, engaging, challenging and sustaining as face-to-face interactions. But they do feel safe, and they often require less energy and vulnerability than going out and making new friends.

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How can I find quality TV shows for my 7-year-old granddaughter?

Michael RichQ: My daughter just posted a plea on her Facebook wall asking for help finding quality TV shows for elementary-age girls (my granddaughter is 7). I know she has been frustrated by the shows her daughter currently watches, as she believes the female characters act cruelly to each other, and she’s concerned about how this kind of messaging affects her daughter. I think she is looking for both show recommendations and if there is a way that she, and other parents like her, can influence what is presented on TV.

~ iGranny, USA

A: Dear iGranny,

Your daughter’s question is one with which many parents struggle when searching for developmentally optimal content that features positive, inspiring role models with whom their children can relate. The issue becomes even deeper when specifically looking for positive portrayals of women and girls in children’s media, as female characters have historically been underplayed or portrayed as weak, sexualized or mean-spiritedly competitive with other female characters. Research has repeatedly shown that these portrayals of female characters can negatively influence how young girls view their bodies and gender roles, yet even today, these negative stereotypes can be found in many movies and TV shows.

You and your daughter are not alone in wanting to guide your granddaughter toward media that will be enlightening, empowering and uplifting for her. Although it may seem daunting, you have come to the right place – there are many practical steps you can take when seeking and selecting media for your granddaughter:

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